The end can't get here soon enough

This undoubtedly has been the worst semester of my college career thus far. I know that I mentioned this at Thanksgiving, but it's like I simply cannot catch a break this semester. It's like everything is collapsing and, as a somewhat mature person, everyone where looks to me to be the iron-willed safe haven in the vastly wild, and chaotic sea of life. But that begs the question, who is my unfailing savior of support in this? I believe that job falls to you guys for the most part.

Next week marks the last week of classes. And, as an English major, that means pretty much everything is gonna be due.

And yet, I cannot muster the motivation to do anything productive (academically speaking), or creatively speaking.

This semester is the semester of writers' block, which sucks. And it's something that I cannot get my mathematically or scientifically- inclined friends to understand. Writers' block isn't something that I can go to Office Hours for. I can't get someone to tutor me or teach me or anything. I just have to keep trying, beating my head against the solid wall of failure. And it's not even like what I am writing is bad; I literally cannot write.

I know you are saying, "Rachel, you are writing right now." That is not the same. This is me, talking to you. Not trying to create a coherent novel or give you nonfiction story with a point or moral. this is me bitching about things, as per usual.

I registered to be a bone marrow donor. I've been telling people that and pretty much everyone has been trying to talk me out of it.

"You know how much that hurts right?" 

"Oh man, you're not gonna be able to walk." 

"I know someone that donated their kidney to their sister. And they had to have 17 surgeries after the donation because of complications." 

Not exactly the vote of confidence I was hoping for in that regard.

 And in regards to Sarah's post, which hit the nail on the head in regards to a lot of the FEELINGS that are happening. My facebook newsfeed is pretty much blowing up with everyone accepting job offers and such or talking about their successes in life. There's a girl that I am friends with that I have to block her posts because she makes me feel so bad about my life.

At this point, I am just going through the motions and praying for the end of the semester to come sooner rather than later. That way I can return home and hide amongst the bosom of irresponsibility for a bit. Though since the parents left, it's not much of a safe haven with a fully stocked fridge anymore. 

I should stop procrastinating. My mountains of work won't do themselves...unfortunately. Also InDesign, though I understand it a bit more (thanks Missy!), I still hate it. And wtf is Illustrator? I refuse to bother with that, though it would make my letterpress project go smoother, apparently.

18 Days until I return.

Be ready.

Also, here's a song!