I have a dry erase calender that I keep on hand in my bedroom. Every month I write out the days, filling in my work schedule, and every day I cross off a square. Counting down the days to...nothing, really. It's a disconcerting thing, watching time slip away like that.
I feel like I'm at a crossroads of sorts, and I'm not sure which road to take. Keep pushing for an office job? Stick with what I have and try to advance? Work on getting something that's more in line with what I actually went to school for? ...Go back to school?
I don't know.
I do know that I'm not quite who I used to be. I'm not entirely certain what that means, or the exact ways in which I am different. But here I am, listening to weird ass indie folk music--music I adamantly refused to listen to back in the day. It was rock or alternative or techno and nothing else, for so many years. Not anymore. I feel this is mostly your guys' fault, and I thank you for it.
I do know that I have a story I want to write, and maybe this time I'll write it.
I do know that I say shit like that a lot and often have very little to show for it.
I do know that I'll probably keep doing it, too, until the day maybe comes when I finally do have something to show for it.
Been having one of those days where I think about how old I am. 23 isn't exactly ancient, sure, but still...where the hell has the time gone? 23 years old is two years away from being 25, and that's FIVE YEARS FROM BEING 30. And just...I want to do things. Things that should be accomplished in my twenties. I'm sure when I hit 30 I'll have a list of things I'll want to do within that decade as well, but for now the time is ticking for my 20s.
I guess I should specify--this is not stuff like...Get a college degree, get a job. These are things that exist outside of the daily humdrum of life. I don't want to look back at my twenties and only see "oh, I did a lot of school work" or "oh, I got a part time job and paid some bills."
Here's a list of shit I'd like to see in addition to that, shit that I'd like to do with all of you lovely people:
Write and produce a radio play
Make a poorly filmed horror short. And I mean really poorly filmed--crashing through the trees in our sneakers, shaky cameras, flailing in the night kind of shit.
Writer's Retreat//Road Trip, though they can be separate things
48 hour gaming session. I did it when I was ten, I should be able to do it in my 20s.
Learn a random a skill or craft
I'm sure there's more, but I have a nasty habit of going too big with my ideas, so I'm keeping it at five. I am dead serious about all of these things, so if any of them interest you, let me know!
So as you all know, I've been livin like a fat cat in the city since April. It's been great. I've been unemployed and living off of my savings, doing the occasional odd massage/dogsitting job, and my federal tax return. I've pretty much just been paying my own bills+groceries. Mike's been handling... p.much every thing else. WHICH IS GREAT and he never minded because he'd have been spending as much anyway. Probably more because he doesn't cook.
ANYWAY. The joyful days of lazing in the sun with my dog had to come to an end. Thanks to My Good Friend Rachelle, I had a bomb-ass resume with which to sprinkle across the internet because fuck it I aint goin to all yall stores. LONG STORY SHORT I got one of the gigs. I am going to be working the same schedule all week erryweek so I am giving it to you guys so that chu know.
Mon- OFF
Tues- OFF
Wed- 3:30-9:30
Thurs- 3:30-9:30
Fri- 3:30-9:30
Sat- OFF
Sun- 2-8
IT IS SUPER EASY FOR ME TO GET DAYS OFF IF I HAVE ADVANCE NOTICE. Include me in everything forever sob.
Also if you wanna do something let me know because seriously, I drive to the suburbs all the time. Don't think that because I live a half hour away, I aint gonna drive down to see you. 8C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And you should totes come and sleep over too because I am a great hostess.
I'm really excited for this job and my coworkers are super cute and chill. I have guaranteed hours, with guaranteed pay. This is a much healthier environment than my last job.
MUSIC TIME:
I saw Ripley Caine and the Full Moon at a street fest this week and they were delightful, my goodness.
Go to the graduation fair, they said. Go to the graduation fair where the only people who want to be there less than you are the people running it.
No but seriously.
I picked up my cap and gown and crap today, so I guess this ceremony thing is going to happen whether I like it or not. I still have mixed feelings--I didn't care much about the ceremony in high school, and I know college is a bigger deal and all that jazz but...Meh. It's probably going to be hot and awful and I swear if it goes over 2 hours I'm gonna be p i s s e d.
The sentiment is surprisingly more common than I thought, so I guess there's that. Solidarity and all that.
Other than the whole finishing undergrad at last business, I haven't been up to much. The weather is getting nicer, my health issues for the past six months seem to have finally worked themselves out, and who knows maybe I'll start working on the whole losing weight thing while trying to find some form of employment. At this point I'd be pretty solid with A Job, if not The Job, because I don't think I'm old enough or have been exposed enough to even know what The Job would ideally be. Maybe it's stupid on my part, but if I manage to get A Job that allows me to work in some form or other in my field (whether directly through A Job or through internships and programs and whatever) then I think that might actually be okay, you know, for now. Maybe even preferable. I just graduated college for goodness sake; why rush to get tied up in something else? Bills. Loans. So long as those get paid...Do what you want, right? ...Right?
Oh man, I'm not cut out for this adult shit, have some music:
I don't know who these people are but they popped up on Pandora like a million times last week and I guess I kind of like them so far.
Also there are angry nesting geese all over campus and it's like an invasion and they're pretty awful they had to put a sign up to warn people because they're all like I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL AND REND YOUR FLESH MAYBE NOT IN THAT ORDER. So glad I don't live there anymore.
